WikiMalfoy

Mr. Shea, over at his Catholic and Enjoying It! blog, happened to notice the strong, familial resemblance between Julian Assange and Cousin Lucius. His thought of “separated” at birth is close enough for Ministry work. But the actual fact is that Julian Assange was a distant cousin of Lucius, though not of myself, for reasons of law and marriage and the like.

By distant, I mean actually quite close, if not for Pureblood Sensibilities; I say “was”, due to quite thorough legal proceedings. See, Julian is a. . . well, to be blunt, the man’s a Squib. Completely and totally without a hint of magic. As you might imagine, this was quite an embarrassment for his parents who, being Continental sorts, were horrified that they spawned such a thing. Of course, my belief is that all those Euro-Malfoys have inbred so much it was only a matter of time before a Julian happened. Tragic.

Anyhow, when the family realized that their boy was a Squib, they quietly foisted him off onto a childless muggle couple, complete with memory charms all around. Only the family and Julian know the truth, well, until now. . .

Of course, this was quite scarring for Julian, and it has clearly warped him. His acting out these days is obviously a cry for attention, a desperate plea for approval and acceptance from those he believes to be the “in crowd.” This too, runs in the family, as Cousin Lucius’ time with the Death Eaters attests. Fortunately, after the events of several years ago, Cousin Draco seems to have mostly avoided this curse.

Julian now slavers for attention much like Cousin Lucius once slavered to not be Crucio-ed. It’s quite sad and pathetic, really. Just like with Cousin Lu, he will be chewed up and spat out by those he most seeks to impress. It didn’t have to be this way– if I recall correctly, one of the Prewetts became an accountant– a fine, respectable position. Likewise the Figg woman started a feline rescue, bless her. No need for this tawdry business of telling secrets everyone already knows. . .

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