A Great Upending in the Year of Mercy

Yes, it’s been quite a while. Which will be sort-of addressed in the following paragraphs.

2015 was a year of internal change. Of figuring out my goals, my direction (or lack thereof), of realizing my vocation (at long-bloody-last!). In mid December, I knew what items I needed to really change things in 2016: A good planner, and a couple good books on organizing one’s life. Because if there’s one thing the developments of 2015 showed me, it’s that I had no organization in my life, and was getting horribly overwhelmed every time I tried to get things together. I needed guidance, a system, something to keep me from drowning in my own chaos. [I’m very good with chaos, but Chaos is, almost paradoxically, a static state. Chaos may grow, but it never progresses. Likewise with the other extreme, perfect order, because the only perfect order, the only perfect peace, is the heat-death of the universe. So, also not-desired. What is needed is the careful balance of Chaos and Order, the friction of which provides movement in a direction.

So. First I found the Top-Down Planner. It was a bit pricier than I expected for a planner, but I could tell that this was exactly the sort of organization and focus I needed. Basically, instead of  devoting all the space to schedule with maybe a small little square for goals, this planner devotes most of its space to your working out and planning your goals, with a schedule space at the bottom of the pages. I find the space is sufficient for my scheduling needs, but the focus on goals is fantastic.

After shopping around both online and off-line, I found nothing that even came close to this focus and layout. So I went with it. It came in last week, and I’ve been working with it ever since. I love it!  I spent a couple of days last week just working on the first pages, where it takes you through a series of exercises designed to first help you identify the values you life your life by, and then the goals you have for your life. The results of these exercises are then used to set the focus for the rest of the year, first on a month-by month basis, then as a week-by week basis, around which you then schedule your days. This focus on life values and life goals really helps to highlight which parts of your life are the most personally fulfilling, and which are just filling time. The Goal focus of the planner has already really helped me focus my own efforts around my selected goals, and the steps needed to progress toward their achievement.It has also started the crisis of the week, though it’s a good and necessary crisis. I’ll get to that in a minute.

Second, I found two highly rated (on Amazon) organization guides, both by Jennifer Ford Berry– Organize Now! A week-by-week guide to simplify your space and your life, and Organize Now! Think and Live Clutter-Free; A week-by-week plan for a happier, healthier life. I purchased them because they were highly rated, spiral bound, took things in small increments over the course of the year, and started with organizing one’s self before organizing one’s space. The first two weeks of the first book are “Organize your mind & Life Vision”, and “Organize Your Priorities”. The first two weeks of the second are “Organize Your Priorities”, and “Organize a Vision Board.” You can see there’s some overlap (and, they both dovetail very nicely with the work being done in the planner). Each week is only a few pages long, and includes checklists of things to think about, schedule, or do. I sit down on Sunday evenings and read the chapter for the coming week. If there are things to schedule, I add them to my planner. Otherwise, I just think them over for the next week, implement what I can, and then on Saturday evening, evaluate the developments of the week and where to go from there.

As you might imagine, this has lead to my goals and priorities being on my mind quite a bit over the past month, and especially over the past two weeks. What am I supposed to accomplish in this life? Why am I getting nowhere with the things I really feel a need to do?

When I was working on the initial pages of the planner, I ended up setting out 4 Goals. [I should note first, in case you don’t know me personally, or haven’t known me personally for a long time, that I often tend to think and express myself in symbolic terms. Not everything I say is meant to be understood literally. Sometimes I’m short-handing big concepts or ideas. Sometimes my expression is halfway between symbolic and literal, or both. I guess it’s understood through context. Or asking me. That works, too . . . sometimes.] The 4 Goals I set out were 1) Maintain/ Enhance Life Order, including Finances (because nothing else will work out well if the bottom falls out of everything), 2) Become a Ninja, 3) Establish the Clan and 4) Establish and Promote the Ninja-verse Fandom. There is a significant amount of overlap between some of these, but that’s okay.

Clearly, “Become a Ninja” is not exactly literal. But it’s not purely symbolic, either. It’s a list of things I want to learn, or become proficient at, to be more self-sufficient, and more capable of being of use in an emergency situation (this is where my physical fitness goals are categorized). To be more the person that gives aid, than the person that needs aid. “Establish the Clan” is about family and homesteads, the philosophical and physical needs of establishing and maintaining family connections and networks (and yes, there are steps involving finding Prince Charming-future-co-Clan-Chief). “Ninja-verse fandom” is all about my writing, which is something I love, even when scenes are frustrating me. I’ve always loved telling stories– childhood friends may remember that I’ve always loved telling stories. I love all the work that goes into crafting a good story– the research, the world building, the character creation, the plotting, time lining, the actual scene and chapter writing. Telling and writing stories is, I think, my vocation. It’s what I’m supposed to do. To play with ideas and express them as adventure, as romance, as Ninjas-in-Space! Awww yeah!

Once these goals are set out, and steps listed for each, there comes the inevitable process of comparing what one has been doing, to the goals and steps written down. What are your current commitments, and how well do they match up with your goals and needs? For instance, on average, adult humans need 7 hours of sleep a night. This is true for me, so I need to be getting to bed no later than the 9:30-10PM time-frame. Also, I am very much an introvert– I need time alone, time to let go of everything and re-charge. Any chore that adds mental stress negates the fact of being alone. These are things that can’t be changed– they can be “Dealt with”, but cannot be changed. I have to work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, and have to go to church on the weekend. These are the non-negotiable items. This means that all mornings except Saturday are booked solid, from the start, with maybe some room on the occasional Sunday if I go to Mass on Saturday evening.

So. . . all of this has been on my brain. Then a Mormon friend posted this article to her facebook feed: When We Try to One-Up the Lord’s Standards: Culture vs. Commandments. I’m not Mormon myself, but I still really resonated with a lot of what the author had to say. I am intimately acquainted with the feeling that I’m not doing enough, that I’m constantly falling short of what the Lord desires of me, that I should always be striving to do more for the Lord. That I’m not devoting enough time or resources to charitable endeavors, to helping others. So this article got things really ticking in my brain– perhaps part of my problem is not that I’m not doing enough for the Lord, but rather that my a priori definition of Doing the Lord’s Work has somehow included: “Whatever you’re doing, if you enjoy it, it’s Not the Lord’s Work. If it’s not directly working with the Poor, it’s Not the Lord’s Work.” You can see where this might become problematic. Not everyone is called to serve the Lord in the same ways. Bot somehow, my understanding of such work was narrowed down to the High-School Service Hours definition. Working at a soup kitchen, or a homeless shelter would count, but freely contributing what small amount of Beauty I could into the world most assuredly did not. No amount of singing for free could amount to one hour in a soup kitchen. My writing, or work on it, would never count because no matter what I wrote, no matter what theological ideas I worked with and tried to express, it wasn’t directly helping the poor, and in addition, I plan to try to sell the stories, and if any money is made, then it’s right out of consideration.  But not to sing, and not to write, was to squander the Talents He gave me. So, I had to do both, and the soup kitchen and homeless shelter and more, because the Gifts I was given were not, by my definition, suitable for His Work. (We’ll not even talk about the spiritual angst involved with not having started a family yet. That’s a whole other can of tangled worms. . .)

Yes, I see now how stupid it was to be thinking such things. I suspect, however, I am far from the only person to have fallen into this trap. We elevate charitable work, but have such a narrow view of what “counts”. . .

Then, David Bowie died. Then Alan Rickman died. Two men who wielded immense influence over my development as a musician and as a storyteller.  Both were severe shocks, and surprisingly personal losses. Bowie was the man who influenced the men who influenced me, the root cause, so to speak, of my development as an artist. His ceaseless exploration of ideas and self, no matter how weird or unusual, is the root of my ceaseless exploration of ideas and self. I am no Bowie, but in the end, I learned the pursuit of Truth No Matter What from him. Rickman portrayed some of my favorite villains, as well as Metatron and Professor Snape. His portrayals of his characters, from Hans Gruber, to the Sheriff of Nottingham, Metatron, and my beloved Professor, helped me learn how to craft characters of interest and depth. Both deaths were unexpected, seemingly sudden, a painful reminder of the ticking clock. . .

. . . And of those goals that need addressing. . . an indication that one cannot “wait for life to sort itself out” to get on with what one should be doing. I cannot wait– I spend so much of the year saying “things will calm down once ______ has passed, then I’ll get ______ done”, only to find that the expected calm never comes. It’s one thing after another– End of Fiscal Year, this holiday, that big convention, this other event. . .  things never calm down, because after every event, all the things I was desperately postponing crowd back in. It’s too much, not if I’m to accomplish what I’m supposed to accomplish. I’m constantly juggling commitments– all things I enjoy, but not all actually furthering any of my goals. My house is a mess because I have no regular time for chores. My fitness progress is always stalled because too many days, I chose between working out (and thus not having time to make my own meals), or making healthy meals (and not having time to work out). I don’t get to sit down to write until 8 or 9 pm (or 10 or 11pm), by which time my brain is so tired I hardly can type a sentence.

Yesterday, I made a list of all my Not-Work and not Actual Church Service Commitments, and the frequency of these commitments. They are as follows:

1. Choir 1 — weekly plus concerts
2. Choir 2 — weekly plus certain holidays
3. Charitable Organization — monthly, plus additional
4. Charitable Organization 1a — monthly
5. Big Convention — yearly, plus ~ 1 week, plus sick time after
6. Little Convention — yearly, plus ~ 1 week
7. Community Emergency Response Team 1, Local level — quarterly
8. Community Emergency Response Team 2, County level — monthly
9. Community Emergency Response Team 2, State level — monthly
10. Community Emergency Response Team 3, State level — monthly
11. Exercise/ Physical fitness — daily, except Sunday

Yes, there is scheduled time for expected illness. (sigh). These can also be broken down as follows:

1. Daily Commitments: 1
2. Weekly Commitments: 2
3. Monthly commitments: 5
4. Quarterly Commitments: 1
5. Yearly Commitments: 2

Two commitments in a day means I cannot cook, or do other household chores for that day, as the whole day will be spent in commitments and the driving to and from them. More than 2 days of 2 commitments in a week starts to effect diet, exercise, sleep, chores, and anything else I might possibly try to be doing with my life for the entire week. Missed sleep is not made up until maybe Saturday but, sleep too late on Saturday, and that cuts into the one day I have to catch up on everything else. If you look at the frequency breakdowns, you can see how this starts to become a problem. My weekly commitments plus my physical fitness needs max me out at the beginning, but then 5 monthly commitments means 1-2 additional commitments per week, plus quarterly and yearly when they come around.

This is untenable, but it’s how I’ve been going about my life for some time. Taking the first list, I compared it to my goals. Some of them fit into my goals. Some do not. I enjoy all of them– it’s the only reason I do them. I enjoy what I’m doing and I love the people I’m with. . . but I’ve got to cut back. Some things, those that are part of some of my goals, can be scaled back a bit (and to heck with anyone who gives me crap about it. Seriously, screw ’em.), some other things may have to go entirely. For commitments I’ve made through the end of February, I’ll be keeping almost all of those, because I don’t want to bail on people with such short notice. But beyond that. . . there will be cutbacks and cut-outs. Simply because there are things I’m supposed to be doing, but I’m so over-committed, that it’s a special occasion when I make any progress at all with them. And my health can’t take it– I can’t get in shape if I don’t have time to exercise, time to clean my house ,time to defrost my freezer so my fridge will work again, time to make my own meals, time to get my needed hours of sleep. . .

So, look. . . to everyone who will soon be seeing less of me: I am sorry. Please believe, this isn’t because I don’t like what we’ve been doing. And this isn’t because I’m “pussing out.” I will definitely miss these things, and the people involved, but these cuts have to be made. This is because I have my own priorities, my own goals, and I have to pursue them. There’s no point to my life if I do otherwise.

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An Excellent Summation

H/T Wraith: Learned Helplessness and Operant Conditioning

Sometimes, in my writings, I mention that my writings are a vehicle by which I am trying to overcome the brainwashing of my youth. Melody Byrne describes what I’m talking about pretty exactly in the article linked above. I think I’m about the exact same age as her, given we entered high school and graduated from it at about the same time.

 I was lucky, in that my father never gave up trying to wake me up to Truth, and that I wasn’t always in the public school system. Note, though, that private schools must be accredited, and accreditation standards are often written to ensure that the brainwashing and conditioning of public schools is at least somewhat reflected in the private institutions. For this reason, my high school which was very rigorous intellectually, while not furthering the conditioning or brainwashing all that much, also didn’t do much to counter it. What conditioning I’d received remained to be re-inforced again once I went to college (of which very, very few are not awash in the conditioning programs).

27 Feb 2012 Feast of St. Anne Lyne

1) St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle; be our defense against the wikedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou, O prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan and all other evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

2) Got the hive box delivered to my backyard yesterday. The hive itself will be delivered in about a month. And then in a little over a year– honey! Mead! Beeswax! Mead! Well pollinated veggies! Mead!

3)

4) Interesting weekend on the seismic and solar fronts. Updates coming. The political world is so screwy I don’t even know where to begin. And, on the social front: So, I met this guy at Katsu, friended him on facebook, and now a friend of his, who is a priest, has friended me, and I’m terribly confused as to why. . .

Speaking of Contraception . . .

The Anchoress points out a surprising source for support of the Church’s teaching re: Birth Control– Business Insider, of all places!

Here’s a tasty bit:

Today’s injunctions against birth control were re-affirmed in a 1968 document by Pope Paul VI called Humanae Vitae.  He warned of four results if the widespread use of contraceptives was accepted:

1. General lowering of moral standards
2. A rise in infidelity, and illegitimacy
3. The reduction of women to objects used to satisfy men. 
4. Government coercion in reproductive matters. 

Does that sound familiar? 

Because it sure sounds like what’s been happening for the past 40 years.

As is said, read the whole thing!

To be honest, I used to be a lot more laissez-faire about the issue myself. After all, if God wanted you to have a kid, it would happen– both myself and my little brother were conceived while our mother was using birth control.

Seismic Watch Feb 9-13

One thing I’ve been tracking are some interesting theories regarding seismic activity. There are some clever people out there making some excellent videos, showing what data they’re using, and publically making predictions and then noting results compared to the predictions. I’m going to start posting these vids as they’re interesting, and I’m starting to think that these people are on to something.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4V11_PUsdj0

In his commentary on YouTube, he writes:

National Preparedness Month

This is National Preparedness Month. Tomorrow is “Patriots Day”, which is calendar-speak for “The day the ‘Religion of Peace’ murdered 2996 Americans in cold blood”

This being the time of year that it is, a short preparedness-related roundup is in order.

First, from Bill Quick (via Instapundit), we have a link to a Gay Libertarian Survivalist. Gotta love breaking stereotypes. That said, the commentary at Mr. Quick’s site is great, educational reading. Some useful links, as well.

You know I gotta link to the Survival Mom, because she’s got such a great perspective about prepping, and is such a gentle presence in a male-dominated field. My pick this time: The place of Roses in your Preps. Yes– too often, men look at feminine things and think they are friviolities, not realizing that roses are not just pretty and nice-smelling, but are real bastards to deal with, once those thorns come in. That said, apparently my maternal grandpa loved growing roses. I’m sure that has something to do with grandma loving them. . .

Not so much preparedness as 9/11 related: The Hillboyz would like you to pray for he soul of their friend Jane, who was murdered 9 years ago when the Twin Towers went down. Likewise, they have another intention as well. Some additional prayer requests in the comments.

The Washington Post had a nice article on canning in the Food Section this past Wednesday. I would have linked to it, but they want me to sign up and give info which I really don’t feel like giving. So I’m sure you can find it on your own. It was nice.

From the UK: Fear as food prices soar. What happens on that side of the Atlantic soon comes to this side.

Strawberry Festival

Today was the annual strawberry festival in these parts. The exact date changes from year to year, though always in late May or early June, whenever strawberries are at the peak of ripeness– much like the actual viewing of cherry blossoms in DC a month or two earlier. Usually, signs go up near the beginning of May, along roads and by churches and banks, announcing the impending festival, which always takes place in the parking lots and fields of a local Montessori school. One field has a collection of moonbounces for the kids, while another nearby field is managed by a Boy Scout troop that directs parking.

The upper parking lot gets filled with booths and tables of local craftspeople, businesses, and other organizations. One lady this year was selling tatted jewelery, including a nice collection with bat charms which I, naturally, had to spend money on. Likewise Tastefully Simple and Pampered Chef people, of which Okassan took advantage. There was a nearby Episcopalian church represented and there, down at the end, a group of young men with a table of pamphlets proclaiming that “Islam is Loyalty” or some such thing.

We didn’t really wander down that way because, quite frankly, Snape and I have a bit of an allergy to Islam– I tend to sneeze alot, and she breaks out in hives, the poor dear. And, to be honest, they stuck out because there were no females among them– and lets face it, a strawberry festival is a rather feminine place, where one expects to see hordes of grannies, moms, and little girls, husbands and sons pulled along with patient (or not so patient) faces. Not really the place for a pack of young fellas (at least, a pack not dressed up in Scout uniforms)– not without even a single Mom or Sister among them.

The backwards American Flag on one of their displays may also have something to do with our reluctance to drift much closer.  Maybe. Either way, both of us are quite happy with our current relationship with The Lord (though we’ll admit, it’s often the two of us being whiney brats that He, in His Mercy, has thus far refrained from smiting out of sheer irritation). They could have been from the local group of Muslims who got kicked out of Pakistan for being to pacifist. Or, they could have been from another, sorta (as far as we can tell) moderate-ish mosque or, they could have been representatives from the Islamic Society of Washington, D.C. Don’t know and, with them lacking any ladies, not really interested.

And before you get all PC, one word: Taqqiya.

After browsing the stalls, down we went to the lower parking lot, where the truck of strawberries had pulled in and a line was forming to purchase strawberries by the full or half flat. While waiting, Snape got into a conversation with a lady behind us on pie dough– and how to change the recipie to account for the recent change in how they make shortening. Really, so typical. We ended up with two flats, which was 16 pounds of strawberries at the peak of ripeness and freshness. 16 of these:

16 of these-- yummy!

Then it was time to head home, routed through residential streets filled with yard sales– I found a rather nice oil lamp, and one jar to add to my canning collection. When we came home, we got right to work, hulling and slicing strawberries, and the rhubarb we’d gotten recently from the CSA, and made two Strawberry-Rhubarb Pies and one Strawberry-Rhubarb tart, of which one pie was baked, one frozen for later, and the tart baked and eaten for lunch. The crust was a Snape family recipie, made by her last night. Sooo good!

Strawberry-Rhubarb pie is not the most photogenic of pies.

We then froze most of the rest of the rhubarb and strawberries (save for what we used the the Rhubarb-Peach Cobbler currently in the oven), though we did set aside one pound of strawberries to make these:

Of course we'd have some chocolate dipped strawberries. . .

Which are, as most wizarding folk know, a perfect antidote to Dementor or Lethifold exposure (well, after your Patronus has chased the beasties off, of course). No, no Dementors or Lethifolds around here, just a couple of decadent Slytherins.

Weekend after next, we’ll likely be using some of the frozen berries and rhubarb to make Strawberry-Rhubarb Jam. Can’t wait!

Canning season is starting again!

The rhubarb and strawberries are coming in quickly, and as much as we’d like, we can’t possibly eat enough strawberry-rhubarb pie. So it’s time to fire up the canner and make a strawberry-rhubarb preserve.

Drooling at the mere thought– a way to get the strawberry-rhubarb awesomeness outsside of rhubarb season. Haven’t decided on a recipie yet, but when I pick one, I’ll post and let you know how it worked.

Mmmm, yummy!

In the Garden: Bay Laurel

Bay is well known to any student of Classsics, Mythology, or the culinary arts. An evergreen native to the Mediterranean, It is known to us in the west as one of the chief symbols of Apollo, ever since his pursuit of Daphne.

Bay Laurel

Bay leaves adorned the heads of victors and Ceasars across the Roman Empire. In Biblical writings, Bay was symbolic of fame and prosperity, and in Christian symbolism, became symbolic of Christ’s Resurrection, and the resultant victory for all humanity.

Bay oil is often extracted and used for fragrance, but the common gardener will be familiar with it as the leaf they add to stews for flavoring, but do not eat. Bay is also often added to pickle jars for similar purpose. Gardeners are also fond of the plant because it is a fond host of the Eastern Swallowtail Butterfly caterpillar, among other catapillars. That said, it’s hardy in USDA zones 8-10, so will mostly be found in the southern parts of the US.

Bay is rarely used medicinally– Pregnant women should avoid the berries as they will cause miscarriage. Oil of Bay can be used externally as a pain reliver, but taking Bay internally in any amounts greater than extracted into stews and pickles tends to make people sick.

[Info from Botanical. com and Wikipedia.]

Halser has Bay associated with the Sun and Moon. In addition, I seem to recall a kitchen witch once associating Bay with Jupiter. I think it was Patricia Telesco, in her book Goddess in my Pocket but, as I haven’t got that availible to me at this time, I can’t check to be sure. But the assocaitions with fame, prosperity, and victory would tend to float in a Jovian direction . . .

In the Garden: Basil

Basil (Ocimum basilicum) of the mint family is a tender, low-growing herb. It is featured in Italian cuisine, and also plays a major role in the Southeast Asian cuisines of Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, and Laos. Basil is originally native to Iran, India and other tropical regions of Asia, having been cultivated there for more than 5,000 years^[

The word basil comes from the Greek βασιλεύς (basileus), meaning “king”, as it is believed to have grown above the spot where St. Constantine and Helen discovered the Holy Cross. The Oxford English Dictionary quotes speculations that basil may have been used in “some royal unguent, bath, or medicine”.

Basil is very sensitive to cold, with best growth in hot, dry conditions. It behaves as an annual if there is any chance of a frost. In Northern Europe, Canada, the northern states of the U.S., and the South Island of New Zealand it will grow best if sown under glass in a peat pot, then planted out in late spring/early summer (when there is little chance of a frost). It fares best in a well-drained sunny spot.

Although basil will grow best outdoors, it can be grown indoors in a pot and, like most herbs, will do best on an equator-facing windowsill. It should be kept away from extremely cold drafts, and grows best in strong sunlight, therefore a greenhouse or Row cover is ideal if available. They can, however, be grown even in a basement, under fluorescent lights.

If its leaves have wilted from lack of water, it will recover if watered thoroughly and placed in a sunny location. Yellow leaves towards the bottom of the plant are an indication that the plant needs more sunlight or less fertilizer.

In sunnier climates, basil will thrive when planted outside. It also thrives over the summertime in the central and northern United States, but dies out when temperatures reach freezing point. It will grow back the next year if allowed to go to seed.

Basil can also be propagated very reliably from cuttings, with the stems of short cuttings suspended for two weeks or so in water until roots develop.

If a stem successfully produces mature flowers, leaf production slows or stops on any stem which flowers, the stem becomes woody, and essential oil production declines. To prevent this, pinch off any flower stems before they are fully mature. Because only the blooming stem is so affected, some can be pinched for leaf production, while others are left to bloom for decoration or seeds.

Once the plant is allowed to flower, it may produce seed pods containing small black seeds which can be saved and planted the following year. Picking the leaves off the plant helps “promote growth”, largely because the plant responds by converting pairs of leaflets next to the topmost leaves into new stems.

There are many rituals and beliefs associated with basil. The French sometimes call basil “l’herbe royale“. Jewish folklore suggests it adds strength while fasting. It is a symbol of love in present-day Italy, but represented hatred in ancient Greece, and European lore sometimes claims that basil is a symbol of Satan. African legend claims that basil protects against scorpions, while the English botanist Culpeper cites one “Hilarius, a French physician” as affirming it as common knowledge that smelling basil too much would breed scorpions in the brain.

Holy Basil, also called ‘Tulsi’ , is highly revered in Hinduism and also has religious significance in the Greek Orthodox Church, where it is used to prepare holy water. It is said to have been found around Christ’s tomb after his resurrection. The Bulgarian Orthodox Church, Serbian Orthodox Church, Macedonian Orthodox Church and Romanian Orthodox Church use basil (Bulgarian and Macedonian: босилек; Romanian: busuioc, Serbian: босиљак) to prepare holy water and pots of basil are often placed below church altars.

In Europe, basil is placed in the hands of the dead to ensure a safe journey. In India, they place it in the mouth of the dying to ensure they reach God. The ancient Egyptians and ancient Greeks believed that it would open the gates of heaven for a person passing on.

(Info from Wikipedia)

Hasler notes Basil is associated with Mercury, Mars and Jupiter.