So, I just edited an older post: “How to Spot a Fake-Azz ‘Occult Expert’ in Two Words” had a comparison in it that, a few years later, no longer works. I updated this comparison, left a note, the previous words just just struck through. But, I wanted to note this, for the sake of transparency. So there you are. Yes, I changed it.
Sometimes, we know people who do stupid things. It happens. Sometimes, we’re associated with a place that the makes the news for stupid reasons. My Alma Mater, Loyola University New Orleans, has prompted a few eye-rolling moments from me over the past couple of years, but this really takes the taco.
No, for real! A current student, Sgt. Josh Collins of the Jefferson Parish Sheriff’s Office, didn’t have time to change out of his uniform and safely secure his sidearm one day, so went to class wearing both. Another student, presumably named Speshall Snoflayk, whined to a professor, who then called the cops– that’s right, more dudes with uniforms and sidearms– about the student in a uniform with a sidearm.
St. Ignatius and All Companions, pray for my patience! I’m not able to donate much money to many causes at the moment, but if I ever sell a story for a lucrative movie deal, Loyola New Orleans is currently OFF the “To Donate” list. I hope that this is a smack in the face to the administration that has allowed this stupidity to grow and fester. It was bad enough when I was there back at the turn of the century, but what I’ve seen over the past 12-24 months is a campus culture going off the rails. Because this line, while damning, is pretty reflective of what I’ve been seeing:
At the end of the day, Loyola University is little more than a daycare for young “adults.” $52,000 a year is a bit much to spend for daycare, even if you’re living on campus.
This is embarrassing as an alum! Hey, Society of Jesus: For years I’ve been trying to defend my beloved “Jebbies” from blanket accusations of Marxism and Heresy, but if you guys don’t get your shit straightened out, get some Catholic back into your Catholic University, some Academics into your School, and some Actual, Biblical Jesus back into your Society, I’m gonna give up! I know there are some younger members of the order with a firmer grasp on Orthodoxy and Doctrine, and I pray you don’t run them out and or ruin them before their formation is complete. But in the meantime, it’s like you’re trying your damnedest to prove all the worst accusations and conspiracy theories correct!
Get your shit together, Jebbies, and straighten out your institutions before it’s too late, if it isn’t already!
I’ve . . . well, I was going to write another post, but then realized that I had to write this one first.I’ve a confession to make, something I need to be published, along with my reasoning, for the sake of honesty and transparency.
I voted for Donald Trump. I wasn’t going to, I didn’t want to, and living where I do, it really didn’t matter anyway, but I did. And I’d like to explain why I did so that there is no question later, for good or ill.
Originally, I was a Cruz supporter, because I actually believe in the ideals and ideas behind the Declaration of Independence and The Constitution, I believe they should be upheld, and I though Cruz was the best bet. I liked most of the Repubs running in the primary, to be honest, through was distinctly disliked a few, among them Trump and Jeb who were, to me, the Twinned Pinnacles of Establishment. My initial dislike of Trump was further inflamed by the behavior of many of his supporters among my friends. Their feverish, unquestioning supports was too reminiscent of the 2007-Present support of the Obama-Otaku, and disturbed me greatly. That and I was starting to see and hear things about some of the people that support him that disturbed me. (More on that with a post to follow, regarding my personal look into the “alt-Right”.)
Still, he won the nomination, so after one single day of expressing my dismay after the Convention, I kept my mouth shut. By then, it was looking like Hillary would get the Dem nomination and, despite my misgivings about Trump, I had sorta sworn Eternal Vengeance on Her for Reasons Not Limited to Benghazi. So while I wouldn’t support him, I dang sure well wasn’t going to do anything to help her. He may be a con-man and a swindler, but she’s a conniving, murdering b*tch.
But now a new dynamic started up, and (almost) all my lefty friends started working to Do Their Part for Her! The sheer amount of casual bigotry, hatred, lying and blithe-passing-along-of-lies that I saw every single damn day so disgusted and sickened me, that I started considering voting for Trump just because they didn’t want me to. But I didn’t want my vote to be decided by spite (I may have sorted Slytherin, but acting on emotion is not really considered Best Practices among our House). So, being the (somewhat) decent Catholic girl that I am, I prayed about it. And I mean, on my knees, with actual tears, begging God to let me know how to exercise my civic duty without completely offending Him. I begged, “Lord, please, just, hit me with a rock or something, You know how flipping clueless I am. . .”
For months, I assumed that when I got into the booth, I would go third party. Despite that Johnson and Weld were sh*t Libertarians, and awful candidates, I was reasonably sure they’d get my vote. Otherwise, the choice seemed between Civil War (Trump), or Wold Wide Nuclear War (Hillary). Both seemed really quite awful. But still, I prayed.
And on Thursday, 03 November 2016, that prayer was answered, via the work of Wikileaks. Mind you, I don’t entirely trust Wikileaks, don’t entirely trust Mr. Assange, not as far as motives are concerned. Perhaps I’m too cynical to believe that their motives are as stated. But I also acknowledge their pretty-damn-sterling record in terms of accuracy of their releases. So, what was it in the releases that caught my eye? Well, if you’re familiar with any of my older writings, you would likely guess the whole Spirit Cooking thing. And you’d be right.
Spirit Cooking is the term used for the Occultic Work of Marina Abramovich. This is the sort of thing that Alex Jones has been raving about, and even I (who should have known better!) dismissed. But now we had actual evidence. No longer hearsay, we now have video, emails, actual evidence to back up all the worst emails . . . These following video is disturbing, but it is still just an intro to the subject:
And I can’t believe I’m actually adding an InfoWars vid, but this is also useful:
Myself, I didn’t really need the explanations, or the quotes. I just needed one email and two pictures, before I recognized the sick-sweet, metallic smell of hardcore, black occultism. Likewise the fetid morass that results from prolonged exposure to such ritual. I always skirted the edges in terms of organized occultism, was never directly involved with any group save for some like-minded over the internet and, of course, K-Sensei. But the groups I knew of in New Orleans had no interest for me, nor I for them. But. . . I was aware of them. And I know their scent.
While I was never personally involved with such groups, I am not a stranger to the use of pain and blood, my own at least. Only ever in very small quantities, used as amplifier and seal. But this. . .
This was Whole ‘Nother Level of Evil. This was the Rock that I’d asked the Lord to toss at my cranium, and it hit with a resounding Gongggggg! It was no longer a matter of not supporting Her, it was now imperative that She, and those around Her, be kept out of the White House. Is Trump of the same “elite” set? Maybe. The difference was that now we had proof that one side definitely was into some Very Bad Things, but only speculation-by-association for the other. She had to be kept out, no matter how much I was not a fan of Trump.
So, I voted for him, even though I felt my stomach turn as a I did so. And when, against all my expectation, he won, I determined to withhold further judgement until after his inauguration– just as I did in 2008 when Obama won despite my meaningless opposition. I don’t trust politicians, or much of anyone in a position of “power”. So of course I’ll keep an eye on him.
But having Her at least temporarily out of the picture is a Good Thing, no matter how his time turns out.
After the Orlando Massacre, I posted a series of posts on my Facebook feed regarding this issue. This post serves to consolidate them in one place, clean up, edit, and add a bit more thought and information to them.
I’m limiting this post strictly to the issues regarding guns and the Orlando Massacre. I will not be posting on any other aspects, and I would ask commenters to likewise refrain from bringing those issues up. My Friends List is varied and diverse, and I actually like most of the people on it. In fact, the 2 or 3 people I like least are among those most likely to agree with what I’m saying here, so. . . chew on that a bit.
Subjects addressed will be: The Weapon Used in the Orlando Massacre, A Brief Mention of Gun Crime Stats in the US, the Truth About “Assault Weapons” (If you skip all the others, pay attention to this one), the Purpose of the 2nd Amendment, and Why I have had an AR-15 on my personal wishlist for a few years (self-styled feminists should take note of this one, too).
Ok then, let’s go!
The Weapon Used in the Orlando Massacre
The firearm used in the Orlando Massacre was NOT an AR-15. Let’s first be clear about this. The firearm used was a Sig Sauer MCX Carbine. “AR-15” is a specific system design (AR from ArmaLite Rifle, before they sold the design to Colt), not a overall classification. The media and other ignorant people like to call all semi-automatic rifles “AR-15s”, because they’re scary-looking and AR-15 sounds scary. Calling this an AR-15 is like calling an American Girl a Barbie, just because they’re both dolls with changeable clothes. “AR-15” is a registered trademark to Colt but, due to common usage, the term is sometimes used for variants of the same basic design which can use the same parts. But this shiney-ass Sig? It’s a rifle system that sometimes utilizes the STANAG magazines that are common to more than 60 different firearms (because interchangeable magazines are just basic sense, see link), but otherwise has no major parts that interface with AR-15s in any way, shape or form. Therefore, not an AR-15.
I bring this up because I’ve seen a petition passed around for banning AR-15s. So, knee-jerk ignorance has yet again struck upon an utterly useless solution that will solve nothing, prevent nothing, and probably make the situation worse, as usual.
Why should the average, non-gun-nut person care? Because if you actually give half a damn about trying to prevent future massacres, future unnecessary, innocent deaths, then you need to actually care about 1) What has worked historically to accomplish that end, 2) What might possibly have prevented the events that horrify you, and thus, 3) What ideas might possibly help in the future, as opposed to those ideas that will accomplish nothing good, and might actually make things worse.
Every time you promote a solution that clearly and obviously would have done nothing to prevent the event you claim horrifies you so much, what you’re really promoting is your own arrogance and self-righteousness. It shows that you don’t actually care the slightest bit for the victims or their loved ones, or the future victims and their loved ones. It shows that what you really care about is your unearned sense Moral Superiority, your belief that you are So Much Better than everyone that disagrees with your knee-jerk, brainless emoting. All you care about is making yourself feel good in public. It is Public Masturbation of the Ego, and it’s disgusting to the rest of us. Which is why we keep telling you to stop already, put that mess away.
Some sources for you (and that I’ve pulled some info form): http://bearingarms.com/…/narrative-fail-orlando-islamic-te…/
Moving on. . .
A Brief Mention of Statistics.
I’ll note right out that I hate statistics. Of all my textbooks from all my college and university courses, the only one that prompted suicidal thoughts every time I opened it was my “statistics” book. I’m of a mind to agree with Mr. Mark Twain: “There’s lies, damn lies, and statistics.”
That said, if we keep away from some of the more egregious number manipulation, they can show some good, useful information. So:
I’ve tried to keep these sources as non-political as possible, which is hard when it comes to this matter. The only one that I’d say isn’t 100% objective is the first one, but I included it sums up what follows.
But it also comes down to basic sense: Murder is already illegal and generally socially unacceptable. Pretty much No One supports Murder. And yet, it happens. Because people who choose to murder don’t give a damn about the fact that it’s outlawed.
Once a Bad Person has decided to Murder (thus flouting the law against such an action), they tend to not give much of a damn about any other laws, like “This thing is Banned”, or “Register this thing”, or “Don’t do this other thing, cuz we say so!”. Like, seriously, they don’t care. They’ll find a way. And if there are laws that others obey, thus cramping their Murder-Style, why then they’ll go buy fertilizer and rent a truck, get creative with kitchen gadgets like pressure cookers, get stabby with a kitchen knife, or go onto the black market and buy some illegal firearms. Or get a security position with the government thus giving them a position with carefully crafted exemptions to the laws. Like just happened.
The only people, in fact, that abide by gun control laws are the law abiding people who don’t Murder others. They care about the law. They don’t want to be criminals, because they’re Decent, Civilized Beings. Such laws only effect non-murderers. Only Non-Murderers are disarmed, thus leaving them as happy(?) sitting ducks for any Murderer to come and pick off at will.
Which is why every massacre happens in a Gun-Free Zone, filled with defenseless innocents who can offer no effective resistance. Which is why they Never happen at Gun Shows or NRA Conventions.
The Truth About “Assault Weapons”
If you do nothing else, if you skip every other post in your quest to remain sanctimoniously ignorant, go to this link and go through the Whole Damn Thing. http://www.assaultweapon.info/
Summary: Assault Rifles are already banned. “Assault Weapons” is a term that, I Shit You Not, means “Scary Looking.” Seriously, go through the whole thing. None of this is new to me, but it might be new for you. Please, even if only to make your own arguments more intelligible. I will know if you haven’t done your homework. It will be patently obvious to everyone who already knew all this, or who just learned it all themselves.
Related Extra Credit Reading: http://www.gunsandammo.com/gun-culture/9-misused-gun-terms/
The Purpose of the 2nd Amendment
The 2nd Amendment has Jack Sh*t to do with hunting. There purpose of the 2nd Amendment is to protect civilians from the government when it inevitably turns against them.
Like it did at say, Wounded Knee (The Lakota women weren’t even allowed to possess the tools needed to to sew beads onto their dresses, okay? And they and their children were mercilessly slaughtered, and their murderers given Medals of Honor. Don’t tell me it won’t or can’t happen in America– it already has). Or, as has happened in countless other countries in the 20th and 21st Centuries.
The core purpose of the 2nd Amendment is to act as an Auto-Destruct in Case of Constitutional Failure. The only reason we haven’t yet gone to the terrible extremes of other totalitarian states is because enough legislators know that enough citizens remember that it is the government that should be scared of the citizens, not the other way around.
Which means, yes, the 2nd Amendment protects theGod-given Right of the Citizens toeffectively defend themselves against their own military. In this context, then, the fact that I can’t own a working Tank is an abomination (I even know where I’d park it!)– but one I understand due to the mess that would result if everybody took tanks to work. Likewise my lack of F-16 (don’t know where I’d park this).
Y’all know I love the US Military, and not just because the US Army pays my bills. I love and Respect The Crap out of our War-fighters, okay? I don’t want there to ever be a day when the 2nd amendment is triggered for it’s purpose. But you know what? I have no respect for our politicians, and little hope that they’ll suddenly learn even a sliver of the honor of our war-fighters. The 2nd Amendment *must* be preserved against that horrible day.
The secondary purpose of 2nd Amendment is that it is the only thing that allows minorities to effectively protect themselves against a hostile majority. It is the Right that allows the Great Equalizer to take effect– it allows women to stand a chance against stronger male attackers, it allows racial and religious minorities to protect themselves from the likes of the KKK. The Pink Pistols say that “Armed Gays Don’t Get Bashed.”– and you know what, they’re right! (Also, the Pink Pistol’s ain’t the only Gay Guns! Group in town anymore: Check out the delightful https://www.facebook.com/LGBTforGunRights page!)
If any of you want to learn the safe and proper handling of firearms, I highly recommend the NRA courses. I’ve taken a couple, and they’re very informative, and include range time and tests.
Why I Want An AR-15 (Since the State of Maryland Won’t Allow Me to Own an AK-47)
So, truth be told, I’ve been wanting an AR-15 of my own for a couple of years. I have to straighten out some other finances first (I still owe my Dad $300 from Balticon), and there are some House-things that need doing, but an AR-15 is on the wishlist. Let me tell you why (“feminists” might find this of interest):
Coupla years ago, I think it was my friend Kory, he let me borrow his AR-15 during a shooting day at a mutual friend’s range. And I fell instantly in love. Know why? The Adjustable Stock.
Here’s the thing: the proportions of my upper-arms to my lower-arms (length-wise) are a bit out of whack. For reasons therefore of strange geometry, the standard-size stocks of most rifles I’ve tried are very hard for me to handle. It’s like my arms simply aren’t long enough, or jointed right, to hold properly and securely.
In addition, I’m left-eye dominant, even though was born ambidextrous and generally write right-handed. I need a left-handed or ambidextrous rifle.
Also, maybe you didn’t know, but I’m female. Although I do my pushups and haul heavy boxes with the best of folk (often surprising the fellas when it comes to such things), I’m still relatively weak when it comes to upper-body strength. Rifles are both long and heavy, therefore requiring greater arm strength to properly control for more than a minute or two at a time.
The AR-15 is a modular system, which means that you can assemble a custom built rifle for a much more affordable price than if you had to order a non-modular rifle with the needed specs. So I can get the adjustable stock for my weird arms, and I can make sure it’s set up for left-handed use (or more easily get a gunsmith to make a few adjustments to make it ambidextrous). It’s relatively lightweight, which means that I and other women can use it with greater ease and accuracy.
It’s also generally quite affordable (depending on what parts you choose), which means that lower-income women have economic access to it.
Please keep in mind that accuracy is a safely matter above anything else. So too, flash suppressors, sound suppressors, and heat cages. They might look scary because Hollywood has taught you that they looks scary, but these are all safety measures.
I’ve been invited to take part in several informal shooting competitions, but I can’t really take part at this time because my rifles either don’t have change-able magazines, or because their cartridge capacity is too low. An Ar-15 would allow me to compete with my friends (who, themselves, mostly use Ar-15s in these competitions), but would also allow me a self-defense weapon that is reliable, is easy to use in an emergency, and is easy to control when adrenaline might otherwise make it very difficult.
So why do I want an AR-15? Because it would allow me to play with my friends, *and* effectively defend myself should my living-on-my-onesies situation become a little too tempting for the local criminal element. And because I can customize with all the obnoxious Hello!Kitty crap I want. Just like my ammo cans!
I may post further updates. Eventually. Who really knows.
Yes, it’s been quite a while. Which will be sort-of addressed in the following paragraphs.
2015 was a year of internal change. Of figuring out my goals, my direction (or lack thereof), of realizing my vocation (at long-bloody-last!). In mid December, I knew what items I needed to really change things in 2016: A good planner, and a couple good books on organizing one’s life. Because if there’s one thing the developments of 2015 showed me, it’s that I had no organization in my life, and was getting horribly overwhelmed every time I tried to get things together. I needed guidance, a system, something to keep me from drowning in my own chaos. [I’m very good with chaos, but Chaos is, almost paradoxically, a static state. Chaos may grow, but it never progresses. Likewise with the other extreme, perfect order, because the only perfect order, the only perfect peace, is the heat-death of the universe. So, also not-desired. What is needed is the careful balance of Chaos and Order, the friction of which provides movement in a direction.
So. First I found the Top-Down Planner. It was a bit pricier than I expected for a planner, but I could tell that this was exactly the sort of organization and focus I needed. Basically, instead of devoting all the space to schedule with maybe a small little square for goals, this planner devotes most of its space to your working out and planning your goals, with a schedule space at the bottom of the pages. I find the space is sufficient for my scheduling needs, but the focus on goals is fantastic.
After shopping around both online and off-line, I found nothing that even came close to this focus and layout. So I went with it. It came in last week, and I’ve been working with it ever since. I love it! I spent a couple of days last week just working on the first pages, where it takes you through a series of exercises designed to first help you identify the values you life your life by, and then the goals you have for your life. The results of these exercises are then used to set the focus for the rest of the year, first on a month-by month basis, then as a week-by week basis, around which you then schedule your days. This focus on life values and life goals really helps to highlight which parts of your life are the most personally fulfilling, and which are just filling time. The Goal focus of the planner has already really helped me focus my own efforts around my selected goals, and the steps needed to progress toward their achievement.It has also started the crisis of the week, though it’s a good and necessary crisis. I’ll get to that in a minute.
Second, I found two highly rated (on Amazon) organization guides, both by Jennifer Ford Berry– Organize Now! A week-by-week guide to simplify your space and your life, and Organize Now! Think and Live Clutter-Free; A week-by-week plan for a happier, healthier life. I purchased them because they were highly rated, spiral bound, took things in small increments over the course of the year, and started with organizing one’s self before organizing one’s space. The first two weeks of the first book are “Organize your mind & Life Vision”, and “Organize Your Priorities”. The first two weeks of the second are “Organize Your Priorities”, and “Organize a Vision Board.” You can see there’s some overlap (and, they both dovetail very nicely with the work being done in the planner). Each week is only a few pages long, and includes checklists of things to think about, schedule, or do. I sit down on Sunday evenings and read the chapter for the coming week. If there are things to schedule, I add them to my planner. Otherwise, I just think them over for the next week, implement what I can, and then on Saturday evening, evaluate the developments of the week and where to go from there.
As you might imagine, this has lead to my goals and priorities being on my mind quite a bit over the past month, and especially over the past two weeks. What am I supposed to accomplish in this life? Why am I getting nowhere with the things I really feel a need to do?
When I was working on the initial pages of the planner, I ended up setting out 4 Goals. [I should note first, in case you don’t know me personally, or haven’t known me personally for a long time, that I often tend to think and express myself in symbolic terms. Not everything I say is meant to be understood literally. Sometimes I’m short-handing big concepts or ideas. Sometimes my expression is halfway between symbolic and literal, or both. I guess it’s understood through context. Or asking me. That works, too . . . sometimes.] The 4 Goals I set out were 1) Maintain/ Enhance Life Order, including Finances (because nothing else will work out well if the bottom falls out of everything), 2) Become a Ninja, 3) Establish the Clan and 4) Establish and Promote the Ninja-verse Fandom. There is a significant amount of overlap between some of these, but that’s okay.
Clearly, “Become a Ninja” is not exactly literal. But it’s not purely symbolic, either. It’s a list of things I want to learn, or become proficient at, to be more self-sufficient, and more capable of being of use in an emergency situation (this is where my physical fitness goals are categorized). To be more the person that gives aid, than the person that needs aid. “Establish the Clan” is about family and homesteads, the philosophical and physical needs of establishing and maintaining family connections and networks (and yes, there are steps involving finding Prince Charming-future-co-Clan-Chief). “Ninja-verse fandom” is all about my writing, which is something I love, even when scenes are frustrating me. I’ve always loved telling stories– childhood friends may remember that I’ve always loved telling stories. I love all the work that goes into crafting a good story– the research, the world building, the character creation, the plotting, time lining, the actual scene and chapter writing. Telling and writing stories is, I think, my vocation. It’s what I’m supposed to do. To play with ideas and express them as adventure, as romance, as Ninjas-in-Space! Awww yeah!
Once these goals are set out, and steps listed for each, there comes the inevitable process of comparing what one has been doing, to the goals and steps written down. What are your current commitments, and how well do they match up with your goals and needs? For instance, on average, adult humans need 7 hours of sleep a night. This is true for me, so I need to be getting to bed no later than the 9:30-10PM time-frame. Also, I am very much an introvert– I need time alone, time to let go of everything and re-charge. Any chore that adds mental stress negates the fact of being alone. These are things that can’t be changed– they can be “Dealt with”, but cannot be changed. I have to work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, and have to go to church on the weekend. These are the non-negotiable items. This means that all mornings except Saturday are booked solid, from the start, with maybe some room on the occasional Sunday if I go to Mass on Saturday evening.
So. . . all of this has been on my brain. Then a Mormon friend posted this article to her facebook feed: When We Try to One-Up the Lord’s Standards: Culture vs. Commandments. I’m not Mormon myself, but I still really resonated with a lot of what the author had to say. I am intimately acquainted with the feeling that I’m not doing enough, that I’m constantly falling short of what the Lord desires of me, that I should always be striving to do more for the Lord. That I’m not devoting enough time or resources to charitable endeavors, to helping others. So this article got things really ticking in my brain– perhaps part of my problem is not that I’m not doing enough for the Lord, but rather that my a priori definition of Doing the Lord’s Work has somehow included: “Whatever you’re doing, if you enjoy it, it’s Not the Lord’s Work. If it’s not directly working with the Poor, it’s Not the Lord’s Work.” You can see where this might become problematic. Not everyone is called to serve the Lord in the same ways. Bot somehow, my understanding of such work was narrowed down to the High-School Service Hours definition. Working at a soup kitchen, or a homeless shelter would count, but freely contributing what small amount of Beauty I could into the world most assuredly did not. No amount of singing for free could amount to one hour in a soup kitchen. My writing, or work on it, would never count because no matter what I wrote, no matter what theological ideas I worked with and tried to express, it wasn’t directly helping the poor, and in addition, I plan to try to sell the stories, and if any money is made, then it’s right out of consideration. But not to sing, and not to write, was to squander the Talents He gave me. So, I had to do both, and the soup kitchen and homeless shelter and more, because the Gifts I was given were not, by my definition, suitable for His Work. (We’ll not even talk about the spiritual angst involved with not having started a family yet. That’s a whole other can of tangled worms. . .)
Yes, I see now how stupid it was to be thinking such things. I suspect, however, I am far from the only person to have fallen into this trap. We elevate charitable work, but have such a narrow view of what “counts”. . .
Then, David Bowie died. Then Alan Rickman died. Two men who wielded immense influence over my development as a musician and as a storyteller. Both were severe shocks, and surprisingly personal losses. Bowie was the man who influenced the men who influenced me, the root cause, so to speak, of my development as an artist. His ceaseless exploration of ideas and self, no matter how weird or unusual, is the root of my ceaseless exploration of ideas and self. I am no Bowie, but in the end, I learned the pursuit of Truth No Matter What from him. Rickman portrayed some of my favorite villains, as well as Metatron and Professor Snape. His portrayals of his characters, from Hans Gruber, to the Sheriff of Nottingham, Metatron, and my beloved Professor, helped me learn how to craft characters of interest and depth. Both deaths were unexpected, seemingly sudden, a painful reminder of the ticking clock. . .
. . . And of those goals that need addressing. . . an indication that one cannot “wait for life to sort itself out” to get on with what one should be doing. I cannot wait– I spend so much of the year saying “things will calm down once ______ has passed, then I’ll get ______ done”, only to find that the expected calm never comes. It’s one thing after another– End of Fiscal Year, this holiday, that big convention, this other event. . . things never calm down, because after every event, all the things I was desperately postponing crowd back in. It’s too much, not if I’m to accomplish what I’m supposed to accomplish. I’m constantly juggling commitments– all things I enjoy, but not all actually furthering any of my goals. My house is a mess because I have no regular time for chores. My fitness progress is always stalled because too many days, I chose between working out (and thus not having time to make my own meals), or making healthy meals (and not having time to work out). I don’t get to sit down to write until 8 or 9 pm (or 10 or 11pm), by which time my brain is so tired I hardly can type a sentence.
Yesterday, I made a list of all my Not-Work and not Actual Church Service Commitments, and the frequency of these commitments. They are as follows:
- Choir 1 — weekly plus concerts
- Choir 2 — weekly plus certain holidays
- Charitable Organization — monthly, plus additional
- Charitable Organization 1a — monthly
- Big Convention — yearly, plus ~ 1 week, plus sick time after
- Little Convention — yearly, plus ~ 1 week
- Community Emergency Response Team 1, Local level — quarterly
- Community Emergency Response Team 2, County level — monthly
- Community Emergency Response Team 2, State level — monthly
- Community Emergency Response Team 3, State level — monthly
- Exercise/ Physical fitness — daily, except Sunday
Yes, there is scheduled time for expected illness. (sigh). These can also be broken down as follows:
- Daily Commitments: 1
- Weekly Commitments: 2
- Monthly commitments: 5
- Quarterly Commitments: 1
- Yearly Commitments: 2
Two commitments in a day means I cannot cook, or do other household chores for that day, as the whole day will be spent in commitments and the driving to and from them. More than 2 days of 2 commitments in a week starts to effect diet, exercise, sleep, chores, and anything else I might possibly try to be doing with my life for the entire week. Missed sleep is not made up until maybe Saturday but, sleep too late on Saturday, and that cuts into the one day I have to catch up on everything else. If you look at the frequency breakdowns, you can see how this starts to become a problem. My weekly commitments plus my physical fitness needs max me out at the beginning, but then 5 monthly commitments means 1-2 additional commitments per week, plus quarterly and yearly when they come around.
This is untenable, but it’s how I’ve been going about my life for some time. Taking the first list, I compared it to my goals. Some of them fit into my goals. Some do not. I enjoy all of them– it’s the only reason I do them. I enjoy what I’m doing and I love the people I’m with. . . but I’ve got to cut back. Some things, those that are part of some of my goals, can be scaled back a bit (and to heck with anyone who gives me crap about it. Seriously, screw ’em.), some other things may have to go entirely. For commitments I’ve made through the end of February, I’ll be keeping almost all of those, because I don’t want to bail on people with such short notice. But beyond that. . . there will be cutbacks and cut-outs. Simply because there are things I’m supposed to be doing, but I’m so over-committed, that it’s a special occasion when I make any progress at all with them. And my health can’t take it– I can’t get in shape if I don’t have time to exercise, time to clean my house ,time to defrost my freezer so my fridge will work again, time to make my own meals, time to get my needed hours of sleep. . .
So, look. . . to everyone who will soon be seeing less of me: I am sorry. Please believe, this isn’t because I don’t like what we’ve been doing. And this isn’t because I’m “pussing out.” I will definitely miss these things, and the people involved, but these cuts have to be made. This is because I have my own priorities, my own goals, and I have to pursue them. There’s no point to my life if I do otherwise.
While I’m keeping this blog for eventual longer essay-posts, the blog format in general is too . . .big . . . for the type of post I’m usually doing, which is seeing something cool/ interesting/ etc, and passing it on, maybe with a comment or three of my own. So, i’ve been trying to figure out some other platforms, and I think Tumblr is really better suited toward that.
So, if interested, you can find me more regularly at: http://zophielmalfoy.tumblr.com/
WARNING: In addition to most of the stuff you’re used to seeing, you’ll also be explosed to 1) Fangirling over many things and 2) Random thoughts. Some of it is serious, a lot of it isn’t. So, er, FYI.
I just subjected myself to one of the worst blog entries I’ve ever read. Which, knowing the internets, must be pretty bad. As it seems that riling me up is the only way to get me thrown headlong into the blogging process these days, here I am, full of disappointment and irritation yet again, as some well-meaning, but ultimately ignorant and unqualified person attempts to speak the Truth About The Occult, only to unknowingly make a fool out of them self and drive away the souls most in need of conversion.
Let me be clear– while I do try to swallow my irritation on most matters, in this case a person is not only misrepresenting the Catholic Church and Christianity, they are further alienating and pushing away many souls that, I rather rashly assume, they would deem most in need of saving and conversion. I am not writing this to Defend This Person or That– although in this case it may seem that way. I am writing this because I am concerned about good, devout people getting scammed again and again by frauds. I am concerned about these frauds (and their believers) unintentionally causing scandal to the Church. These things help no one, and cause great harm.
So, to my credentials for this subject: Yes, I am familiar with the occult. More than a passing acquaintance, though somewhat distant these days. Yes, I am currently a practicing Catholic, yes I go to Confession and sing in the Choir and read my Bible and bicker with others about the Traditional Latin Mass vs the Novus Ordo. So it is that I am just as familiar with Dion Fortune as I am with St. Therese of Lisieux. I am just as read in Manly P. Hall, Israel Regardie, and dear Frater Albertus, as I am with St. Bernard of Clairveaux, St. Hildegard von Bingen, and dear St. Francis de Sales. To be fair, I haven’t read Blavatsky, but neither have I read all that much Vianney. I have enjoyed puzzling through Agrippa and St. Albertus Mangus. Moreover, just as I can go to Mass, Confession or Adoration with little to no need for a “cheat sheet” (I am fond of my iConfess app), likewise can I navigate the standard LBRP, Middle Pillar, or Rose Cross Rituals with no need for script or index cards. [For the record to passing occultists: I leave out the SBRP and the LBRH because in the case of the former, I am uncomfortable with the Analysis of the Keyword and, for the latter, it uses Enochian, which I avoid, due to my conviction that not only was Dee deceived, but Kelley tried to tell him so and he (Dee) wouldn’t listen.] Finally, since it is near impossible to read any of the above occult authors without also having familiarity with Garnder, Starhawk or, Gawd-help-us, Silver RavenWolf, I have a more than passing familiarity with Wicca and modern Witchcraft, and mild knowledge of other, more traditional “Low Magic” traditions. (And yes, I have read Crowley, and I’m never getting those hours of my life back. . .)
There was work. . . and Balticon . . .and work! Ugh. But I might be getting a handle on things again. In the meantime, I’ve updated the blogroll a wee bit. Added a very brand new blog written by two of my dearest friends: http://theo-pop.com/
You may or may not be interested. More soon. Probably. (I’ve a slew of drafts awaiting finishing. . .)
Powerful Asteroids hitting Earth more frequently than expected.
Army wasting money on a system that doesn’t work, People Dying.
My first thought is this: Those who work in Army Acquisitions know that if there is a commercial product that supplies a need, that they are to use that product and not spend money on developing something new. This is the default setting for purchases. In order to not go with the commercial solution, there must be a solid reason for not using it.
In this case, they would need to document why, exactly, Palantir does not meet the Army’s requirements. Or, why they cannot do business Palantir Technologies. They aren’t currently disbarred, so there would have to be some other reason. All of that should be documented somewhere, and they should be pulling those documents out at this point and reviewing them.
That said, I agree with a lot of what Hunter said. It is a huge bureaucracy, needed because the Federal Acquisitions Regulations, Defense Supplement, and Army Supplement to the Defense Supplement, plus all the other executive orders and policy statements are so numerous and vast, that you need all those people to make sure that purchases are done legally. If you want to trim the number of people, you need to gut the regulations and paper-work requirements. I don’t know how it is in other offices, but in the one I work at, we’re overloaded with work, mostly because it takes so long to get things done, due to the regulatory requirements.
Cult of Moloch alive and well in the USA. Sometimes, I have trouble praying for Him to be merciful to the US– I can pray for mercy for the slain, for the women deceived, even the doctors who are so lost they cannot see what they are doing. . but for the nation as a whole? How can I ask such a thing in the face of such evil committed– burning the bodies of murdered children to recharge our iPhones? So I find myself praying for Him to be Just or Merciful as He deems best. Because simply praying for mercy, in this case. . . the words stick like needles in my mouth.
And then I check on my supply of water and canned food, and count my ammo.
Allen West asks a question that rather answers itself, I’d think.
Troops deployed to Eastern Europe. Because the Cold War is over, doncha know?
Speed Limits, Drinking Ages, and other Needless Gov’t Interventions. Grunt Opines.
St. George’s Day! The patron of England is renowned for his dragon-slaying skills — but only mean dragons. So, Toothless is safe. . .
The Navy is naming a new ship after Gabby Giffords. Ugh. If she has any class, she’ll ask that they name it after someone who’s 1) Dead and 2) Did something actively heroic. Getting shot and surviving does not a hero make. Walking open-eyed into danger to save others does. Every firefighter in this country is more worthy of this honor than Mrs. Giffords.
It has started. Apes building fire and toasting marshmallows. It is now only a matter of time. Tick Tock. [Warning for auto-play on arrival]
S.E. Cupp on why Bloomberg is nothing but fail.
There was a time when I thought that “Chem Trails” was one of the wackiest Conspiracy Theories out there. I’ve been changing my mind on that for a couple of years. But not for the reasons others have. To quote Ben Davidson:
“Do we spray the sun, mars, venus, jupiter, and saturn? They are ALL changing more than earth… better rethink both the human causation and the idea that we are making it worse in the short term. The long term affects could be bad but there is no doubt that earth is managing to do better than its neighbors despite everything you hear. This is a solar event, and they are playing god trying to stop it. They can’t hide it, so they make you think its an attempt to do something crazy so you scream about it online and nobody in the mainstream takes any of us seriously. THAT is how you hide something in plain sight… you make the opposition (us) act like crazy people.”
Traditional “Saxon” Math vs. “Common Core”
And. . . who the hell is John Titor?